Still hard to let go I can still hear you singing, the mourning bells are ringing. These thoughts lost in my head, with these eyes left to witness the black and red. Poetic, psychotic. Romantic, eccentric. Eating away at me slowly, soon to come and embrace me. Stain my cloths with that crimson justice, to show your true face my alice. Everlasting madness, such a mess. The ropes slowly coming apart, now here back at the start. Hunger, stronger. Unconscious, darkness. This end that I let in, my life yours and all thats within. Don't you detest what you see? Wont you come and digest me? Make me pay for my deceit, Bon appetite.
Wednesday, December 10, 2014
Reasoning
Pointless and repetitive,
looking for some reason to live.
Some excuse for some thoughtless destiny,
with some after life besieged by some worn out philosophy.
To live is to work,
to live with the flaws and your quirks.
To live is to breed,
to live is to fulfill every need.
To live is to sin,
to live is to be forgiven.
To live is commitment,
to live is to repent.
To live is to repeat,
to live is to sleep and eat.
To live is to feel,
to live is to deal.
To live is to fight,
to live is to be wrong and right.
To live is to be lean,
to live is to be clean.
To live is to accept,
to live is to intercept.
To live is to breathe,
to hold like a sword in its sheathe.
To live is to protect,
truth soon to dissect.
Living life to the fullest,
being at your best.
Monday, December 8, 2014
Absolution
My lover is an angel smiling even at her funeral, as the people shake their head in disapproval. My goddess and my only prayer, that no matter where she goes I'll always be there. I'll give you my life, I'll tell you my sins as you sharpen your knife. Lost forever yet I still care, to no other smile could yours compare. White as the show, divine with your glow. In this winter wonderland, do I see you happy holding another's hand. I'm happy here where I lay, even its just me at the end of the day. Leave me here and throw away the key, in this cage just for me. Saying good bye to my sunlight, knowing she's happy I'll always be alright. Safe hands held on this white dance floor, to be just enough and nothing more.
Friday, December 5, 2014
Blood worthy
The beginning was fun and you felt free, then the shroud left and you were forced to see. That life isn't just happiness and sunshine, sometimes it's taking a new breath or getting out of line. Its about closing ones eyes to see clearly, see we hold onto the sight so dearly. The reality that isn't there, the life that is always fair. The beast beauty of his own, with all the lies he had shown. You see for how it all was, so you go back to the life You were in to think of a just cause. The life of pain, where you couldn't just run free in the rain. So bland, for a blood worth at high demand. Simply one of the kind, to be blood worthy you must be out of your mind.
Thursday, December 4, 2014
Envy
Endless despair meets eternal hope, the feelings we encourage, these happy thoughts and the smiles that help us get by. The kindness we are given and shared among the less fortunate, the feeling of replacing the darkness with your own light. Always holding up your hand to care, nursing people back to health so courageously, her only medicine a hug and a firm shake. To even the one she desspises she provides such a heart warming gaze, as if the whole worlds problems just disapear in that manner of moments when most would run, or just toss someone away, it only seemed to be a strength. A family that doesnt support, a brother who betrayed her, a sister that abandoned her, and parents who care nothing but the bond of family. The only thing that keeps me going, that helps me let go, the one friend thats there for me when I feel lost, my friend Brenda. I envy her.
Wednesday, December 3, 2014
101 things about me
1. Drake Shade is my darker emotions.
2. I have three sisters and two brothers.
3. My favorite game is the wolf among us.
4. I love the lord of the rings series.
5. My favorite food is chicken fried steak.
6. My favorite book series is Cirque du freak.
7. I love poetry.
8. I love chess.
9. I want to be a video game designer.
10. I make videos in my free time.
11. I love reading.
12. I love writing.
13. I listen to a lot of alternative and classic rock.
14. I'm not good with making decisions on my own.
15. My weakness is that I am hard headed.
16. I'm insanely afraid of being something i'm not.
17. My favorite band of all time would be drowning pool.
18. I don't get along with my big sister.
19. My favorite among my siblings is the one whose always there, my brother-in-law Colby.
20. I like to draw.
21. I have trouble with feeling anything.
22. I usually do things without thinking.
23. I find it really to comfortable to lay down listening to music while reading a book.
24. I like to see my friends happy, so I usually do what I can to make them feel better.
25. I am very selfish.
26. I love sleeping a lot.
27. Thinking a lot makes me depressed.
28. I usually write horror stories and poems about my inner thoughts or my sense on human nature.
29. I like to play any kind of poker.
30. I'm careless.
31. I like to shut off my feelings a lot so I can take it all out on my writing.
32. When I write, I tend to lose sight of the things around me, then come back to reality after its done.
33. My favorite song would be "Feel like I do" by Drowning pool.
34. When I do think, I like to do it by myself, I don't really like the idea of putting my problems on someone else.
35. I don't like being a burden.
36. I don't forget and forgive more like I just remember and forgive, cant lie to yourself what they've done.
37. I like having control.
38. I'm a neat freak.
39. I don't ask myself why things happen, I just ask why do I let them happen.
40. My friend Brenda is really the only person who gets me.
41. I don't really like losing people I love.
42. Death scares me.
43. I have a habit of walking on my tip toes.
44. I dislike people ruining my games.
45. I learn things better on my own.
46. I hate making mistakes.
47. I like watching anime.
48. I like to read manga.
49. I like to play video games.
50. My favorite console would have to be any of the PlayStations.
51. I tend to overthink things when I am mad.
52. The hardest game I've ever played was Demon Souls.
53. I hated my middle school years.
54. My best friends are David North and Elijah Harris.
55. I don't get along with people I don't know unless someone I know knows them.
56. A lot of my inspiration is from music.
57. I have band named Devils Syndicate.
58. I don't ever really feel like I have to study.
59. I don't like objective things.
60. My favorite subjects at school are English and Math.
61. My least favorite would be History.
62. My Dad is who I look up to, someone I want to be like.
63. My favorite poet would be my father, we write about the same things.
64. I have problems being compassionate.
65. Halloween is my favorite holiday.
66. Fall is my favorite season.
67. I don't like opening up to people.
68. I don't get along with very emotional people.
69. I dislike talking about my past.
70. My parents are good people.
71. I don't like most of my uncles, but I love most of my aunts.
72. I have anger issues.
73. The three main things I care about is my family, my best friends and stability.
74. I don't like feeling guilty or taking the blame for things I cant help.
75. I don't like faking feelings.
76. I like playing role playing games.
77. I like playing strategy games.
78. My favorite game on PC would be either Garry's mod or Amnesia the dark decent.
79. I like things being in alphabetical order.
80. Algebra is a lot better then Geometry.
81. My favorite manga would be Dogs: Bullets and Carnage.
82. My favorite anime would be Code Geass.
83. I ignore a lot of the problems in my life.
84. I am ignorant when it comes to social events.
85. I don't know how to act at funerals.
86. I cry rarely.
87. I like baby sitting my little cousins.
88. I work at my aunt Kim's flea market.
89. When it comes to making decisions I feel lost.
90. I talk to my mother when I feel that way.
91. When I sing I imagine the scene of the song I wrote.
92. Any game is really easy for me once I've mastered the controls.
93. I love having long hair.
94. I like wearing suits.
95. My favorite drink would be Pepsi or Lemonade tea.
96. I'm very protective of my younger siblings.
97. A song that would describe my life would be "Vendetta" by Deligma
98. I practice singing a lot when i'm alone at the house.
99. The game that i'm best at is The Darkness 1 and 2.
100. I am 17 and feel the oldest out of my siblings.
101. I love to sing.
2. I have three sisters and two brothers.
3. My favorite game is the wolf among us.
4. I love the lord of the rings series.
5. My favorite food is chicken fried steak.
6. My favorite book series is Cirque du freak.
7. I love poetry.
8. I love chess.
9. I want to be a video game designer.
10. I make videos in my free time.
11. I love reading.
12. I love writing.
13. I listen to a lot of alternative and classic rock.
14. I'm not good with making decisions on my own.
15. My weakness is that I am hard headed.
16. I'm insanely afraid of being something i'm not.
17. My favorite band of all time would be drowning pool.
18. I don't get along with my big sister.
19. My favorite among my siblings is the one whose always there, my brother-in-law Colby.
20. I like to draw.
21. I have trouble with feeling anything.
22. I usually do things without thinking.
23. I find it really to comfortable to lay down listening to music while reading a book.
24. I like to see my friends happy, so I usually do what I can to make them feel better.
25. I am very selfish.
26. I love sleeping a lot.
27. Thinking a lot makes me depressed.
28. I usually write horror stories and poems about my inner thoughts or my sense on human nature.
29. I like to play any kind of poker.
30. I'm careless.
31. I like to shut off my feelings a lot so I can take it all out on my writing.
32. When I write, I tend to lose sight of the things around me, then come back to reality after its done.
33. My favorite song would be "Feel like I do" by Drowning pool.
34. When I do think, I like to do it by myself, I don't really like the idea of putting my problems on someone else.
35. I don't like being a burden.
36. I don't forget and forgive more like I just remember and forgive, cant lie to yourself what they've done.
37. I like having control.
38. I'm a neat freak.
39. I don't ask myself why things happen, I just ask why do I let them happen.
40. My friend Brenda is really the only person who gets me.
41. I don't really like losing people I love.
42. Death scares me.
43. I have a habit of walking on my tip toes.
44. I dislike people ruining my games.
45. I learn things better on my own.
46. I hate making mistakes.
47. I like watching anime.
48. I like to read manga.
49. I like to play video games.
50. My favorite console would have to be any of the PlayStations.
51. I tend to overthink things when I am mad.
52. The hardest game I've ever played was Demon Souls.
53. I hated my middle school years.
54. My best friends are David North and Elijah Harris.
55. I don't get along with people I don't know unless someone I know knows them.
56. A lot of my inspiration is from music.
57. I have band named Devils Syndicate.
58. I don't ever really feel like I have to study.
59. I don't like objective things.
60. My favorite subjects at school are English and Math.
61. My least favorite would be History.
62. My Dad is who I look up to, someone I want to be like.
63. My favorite poet would be my father, we write about the same things.
64. I have problems being compassionate.
65. Halloween is my favorite holiday.
66. Fall is my favorite season.
67. I don't like opening up to people.
68. I don't get along with very emotional people.
69. I dislike talking about my past.
70. My parents are good people.
71. I don't like most of my uncles, but I love most of my aunts.
72. I have anger issues.
73. The three main things I care about is my family, my best friends and stability.
74. I don't like feeling guilty or taking the blame for things I cant help.
75. I don't like faking feelings.
76. I like playing role playing games.
77. I like playing strategy games.
78. My favorite game on PC would be either Garry's mod or Amnesia the dark decent.
79. I like things being in alphabetical order.
80. Algebra is a lot better then Geometry.
81. My favorite manga would be Dogs: Bullets and Carnage.
82. My favorite anime would be Code Geass.
83. I ignore a lot of the problems in my life.
84. I am ignorant when it comes to social events.
85. I don't know how to act at funerals.
86. I cry rarely.
87. I like baby sitting my little cousins.
88. I work at my aunt Kim's flea market.
89. When it comes to making decisions I feel lost.
90. I talk to my mother when I feel that way.
91. When I sing I imagine the scene of the song I wrote.
92. Any game is really easy for me once I've mastered the controls.
93. I love having long hair.
94. I like wearing suits.
95. My favorite drink would be Pepsi or Lemonade tea.
96. I'm very protective of my younger siblings.
97. A song that would describe my life would be "Vendetta" by Deligma
98. I practice singing a lot when i'm alone at the house.
99. The game that i'm best at is The Darkness 1 and 2.
100. I am 17 and feel the oldest out of my siblings.
101. I love to sing.
Monday, December 1, 2014
Monsters
Scratching at the doors, clawing at the floors. Drowning in the rivers of tears, pulling me further to the darkness of one's fears. No need to fight, it's all going to be alright. Swimming up for air, to a world that drowns you without a care. It's air poisonous, it's agriculture filled with pus. Accompanied by maggots and black skies, that's the world in my eyes.
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