Inner demons Halloween story

I was boy who always had a smile on my face,

always thinking of my happy place.

Excited for Halloween night,

a day where I could be someone I want to be sounded so right.

To be welcomed with candy and other goods just by saying trick or treat,

waiting on mother and father to come back for this night could not be beat.

Then I awoke from that dream to see a world covered in blood,

a world filled where mirrors that flood.

The night is calling something different in the air,

what it is I don't even care.

My screams that the neigbors ran to,

That was the last night i listened to you.

My imaginary friend who told me the bad was good,

To take whatever chance i could.

Then he took away my first feeling in forever, 

All very clever.

It was simple he didnt want to lose me to my lover,

So he made me hurt her.

Then for once i was in control, 

For this i would pay the styx toll.

Done with life,

On the edge of a knife. 

Good bye my dearest friend, 

For this is the end.

Heart beat

Love is like fire Burning with desire Love is death Haunting you to your last breath it's hopeless Just a mess Give me something to believe in That isn't always held within Love is like oxygen Passing like a pathogen Love is patient Sentient it's fragile Making itself worthwhile Love is like suicide It's aftermath a genocide Love is agony A bitter sweet tragedy it's heartbreaking Breath taking Love is like a disease Which many spread like fleas Love is blind Yet something we try to find It's genorousity it's eternity It's something I have found With a beautiful girl that leaves me bound Always making me more happy with each day Entertaining me with every game we play To the end I'll see it through Because I'll never stop loving you

Works by (and inspired by) artist Edward Hopper

There my victim was, exposed, his sweat from a hard days work tiring, his breath heavy, my hunger to make the voices stop aching, the cool wind with the summer sky making my conchies slowly fade as I drew near to the man managing the gas pump. I looked at the oasis that appeared to be a forest surrounding a long rode a couple miles off of a city, making this the perfect place to fulfill my thirst. I glared at the man as he tipped his head to me in response of my need of his convenience, I waited for him inside the store looked for an accessible weapon to use, his car was out back so that would make a quick get away to dispose of the body, for a while I argued with my head for the proper means of ending this mans life until he approached me with the same fake smile all servers give their customers. I asked for a carton of smokes, a liter and a cold pop watching as he got the necessary items needed for his own death, but then I got a better idea and asked for some gas and explained that my car was about a quarter mile away, the mans attire appeared to give a different perspective of himself because clearly, he was an imbecile just wearing a suit to look nice. As he went in the back after filling up the tank I poured it all over the counters, the trinkets, the restrooms next door and the pumps outside. Luckily the man left his keys out on the front desk, must be hard to find good workers willing to drive all the way out here, but stopping mid thought I had to hurry because the man was getting back. So I lit my cigarette, drove onto the road, throwing it at the gas pump as I sped in his red 1965 bug taking in the sight of the mushroom cloud and then drove with nothing but the smell of the outside and feeling of the cool summer breeze.

Keeping it real

My favorite movie would be little Nicky, its funny, it has Ozzy Osbourne and white zombie in it, it has some of my favorite actors in it and most of all the humor is kind of like the jokes my father and I make. I don't usually care for the dramatic movies, where they always have to be so slow and boring. I usually watch movies at my girlfriends house, its generally the only place I get peace and quiet and having Ashley by my side when we watch a horror or comedy movie makes those moments worth while, plus the snacks she makes for it, candy and popcorn. YOUR PERSONALITY Personality survey: YOU ARE 50% EXTRAVERTED. You are moderate in activity and enthusiasm. You enjoy the company of others but you also value your privacy. YOU ARE 50% AGREEABLE. You are generally warm, trusting, and agreeable, but you can sometimes be stubborn and competitive. YOU ARE 58% CONSCIENTIOUS. You are dependable and moderately well-organised. You generally have clear goals and are able to set goals aside. YOU ARE 42% EMOTIONALLY STABLE. You are generally calm and able to deal with stress, but you sometimes experience feelings of guilt, anger and sadness. YOU ARE 67% OPEN TO NEW EXPERIENCES. You are practical but willing to consider new ways of doing things. You try to seek a balance between the old and the new. WHY YOU WATCH MOVIES: PLEASURE-SEEKING: 45% NOSTALGIA: 40% The “pleasure seeking” dimension refers to the extent to which you are a hedonistic movie watcher or choose movies because they make you feel good. Your score on this dimension is average or similar to most people. The “nostalgia” dimension refers to the extent to which you watch movies in order to re-experience the past. Your score on this dimension is average or similar to most people. CATHARSIS: 55% AGGRESSION: 100% The “catharsis” dimension refers to the extent to which you watch movies in order to feel miserable and suffer with the characters of the movie. Your score on this dimension is average or similar to most people. Your high score on the “aggressive” dimension suggests that you enjoy watching violent movies, such as action or war films. This may be because such movies help you release aggression and tension, though it could also indicate that you have an aggressive personality. ESCAPISM: 95% SENSATION-SEEKING: 100 Your high score on the “escapism” dimension suggests that you watch movies in order to escape or forget about reality – thus films provide you with the necessary distractions to switch off from everyday problems. Your high score on the “sensation seeking” dimension suggests that you watch movies in order to experience arousing feelings – thus you have a tendency to prefer exciting and arousing movies. This is the equivalent of being a movie adrenaline junkie. ARTISTIC: 70% INFORMATION-SEEKING: 50% Your high score on the “artistic” dimension suggests you are interested in aesthetically driven, conceptual, and highly creative films – essentially this suggests you have a very artistic taste in movies (and are probably also interested in other forms of art). The “information seeking” dimension refers to the extent to which you are a curious and intellectual movie watcher. Your score on this dimension is average or similar to most people. BOREDOM-AVOIDANCE: 35% SOCIALISATION: 40% The “boredom avoidance” dimension refers to the extent to which you watch films primarily as a means of avoiding boredom. Your score on this dimension is average or similar to most people. The “socialising” dimension refers to the extent to which you are more interested in the company of others than the actual movie, when watching a film. Your score on this dimension is average or similar to most people. If there was a movie on the story of my life it would start off depressing, tragic and black and white and transition to getting better with color with a happy ending.

Music and writing.

My favorite song would be becoming insane by infected mushroom, every time I hear it I start writing my poems, sometimes i'll lose track of time and twelve or thirteen poems are made with the song on repeat, I love the song because it inspires me to write. I wanted to do music professionally because it drives me, when I write songs or poems I imagine the beat that would be played, the way it would be sang, and the way it feels. The way music makes me feel is almost different from others, its like an entirely different person, smarter, imaginative, outgoing and like nothing can stop me. Its so empowering, if it weren't for music I probably would have lost it and gave up on life. I admire the music of Corey Taylor because he speaks to all of the emotions most people fail to embrace as if we all have this fight of light and dark in our heads just screaming out with each lyric he spits, its simply perfect. One event when I connect to music is when I am alone and ready to write poems, the words just flow through my head with the song as I write. Music has the power to heal, it helps with pain, it gives hope whether it be hard or soft, I know because when my little sister Sara died, we played the song "Sarah's smile" at her funeral, it was hard but for the first time in forever I cried, music makes me feel healthy emotions when it matches the moment, to most it helps with the process like my mother used to play the song over and over until she got over it. Music is poetry, because its an expression of emotions put into words with some instruments to make the beat. Point is, music is my life and always will be.

Love is mutual

My lovely master whose trigger  she loves to pull, my counter part that makes me a mad fool. My other half who has full control, concealing the hell contained within my soul. Your scent better then the gun powder you feed me, with wrath that leaves my darkness be. To make my monster a dry fire, surrounded by my only desire. When she pulls the trigger, I'm there ready to be the grave digger. I both the gun and the bullet, so go ahead if your going to pull it. Make the world filled with lead, because every obstacle will be filled with lead.

Chicken chaser

My face stitched to my mask, taking another swig of my poisonous flask. Whose to say we are what we make of ourselves, to say that were any better then books left on their shelves. Oh yes human beings are like quarters with two faces, masking to different people in different places. Where we shroud ourselves with cloaks of lies, So another part of us soon dies. But who are we to explain, when our fellow man wants to hide the pain. Doesn't make you strong, just makes the pain worse and long. We sow our mouths to the concrete, just begging to see the world like the chicken crosses the street. But we'll never go far, because we all know the chicken is dumb enough to be run over by the car.

Saras smile (Window poem)

I see a mother holding her child, Crying and screaming wild. The child lifeless, colorless. Beside me relatives crying, another member dead, not dying. So young, with a beautiful song sung. There is a grave, perhaps another life God could not save. Covered with so roses red, only difference is your sisters dead. Sometimes life isnt the fantasy we believe i
t to be, its a place only the blind want to see. Its a world covered in ash, sad thing is all the boy wants to do is crash. Years 2010, where the pain would begin. Without any end, with no more strength to fend. There off in the distance almost a mile, tortured by her smile. An angel so white and pure, telling me death is the only cure.

Just for Brittnay

Go ahead hammer it in, over like the french say fin. Cold and lonely, thats the world for me. Bloody rags and used up syringes, not caring for my families cringes. Feelings I cannot deny, when im hooked I cannot lie. Demons and devils pulling at my arms, as my nerves numb and disarms. My parents reaching out, but unable because all I do is pout. Having an abandoned child four almost five, on my dead sisters money I thrive. Little brothers that hate me, your damn right because thats all we see. Trying to do better so I dont lose kaden, even if I must become a maiden. Leaving a perfect family behind, with only more drugs and abusive boyfriend to find. Stricken by guilt and sent to jail, finally sobering only feeling the pain of its nail. Austin forgive me and give me pity, ill do anything even leave this city. Sure sis that would be well, but I enjoy you rotting in hell.

(Who is Harris Burdick?) Mr. Crowley

An old man who worked daily, Whose name was Mr. Crowley. He lived a happy life and was getting promoted soon, He took his break for it was half past noon. Then his boss came and said, "If you work anymore, you'll end up dead." "So please sir accept to retire." "So I don't have to fire." Mr. Crowley responded with anger and quit, Like a child he threw a fit. He pushed his boss and on he fell, As Mr. Crowley felt his soul go to hell. He had to get rid of the body but his house was to far, Then he drove and on it went to the back of his car. He went over to a store to get some supplies, Remembering from TV what to do when someone dies. Consuming the car in gasoline, Burning it with a smell so obscene. He walked home that day, Which was once so beautiful now worn and grey. He was home on his chair he sat, Guilt consuming him like a creeping rat. Then a knock at the door, With a creak in the floor. He walked up to see the devil himself Lucifer, In the form of a police officer. He opened the door for the young man asking "How may I help you?" The young man responded "Your boss went missing and reports say there was a fight between you two." The old man responded "No it was something so trivial and I made a big deal.", "He was going to give me my promotion but needed a seal." "But I declined and that made him mad.", "Then I saw he was going to something bad." The cop was annoyed and said "Sorry to be of trouble." "But I have work to do and a investigation on the double." Mr. Crowley closed the door and back in his chair, Then another creak that gave him a scare. A noise in his basement, Screaming his mind to resent. But he picked up his chair and it got closer, He realized he wasn't the best disposer. There stood the burnt body of the man he killed, He then got a sheet and covered the beast so he could hit it until he was fulfilled. The heads insides like a piñata at first glance, Stomping at it as the body would advance. Then he screamed and his voice was heard, A couple moments later the police officer ran in without a word. To see the old man screaming "I did it, I did it! I killed him dead!" Aching because he could hear the mans heart beat in his head. With ones guilt we will never part, As told from the story of a tall tale heart.